This week, my class is learning about waxing. Nowadays, that is a trend for both men and women. But at the time, I never waxed things like the most popular thing that is waxed...The eyebrows. I was afraid to let someone wax them because I thought it would hurt or they would disappear. Everyone had to participate, but I let the teacher do mine. When she got mine done (yes they were still on my face), they were on fleek! I was so happy with the fleeking she had provided for my eyebrows. Nothing is better than the fleek looking on fleek. And it didn't hurt so I was pretty happy.
Last week was thanksgiving. I have never been a big food person, but when I smell my mom's homemade mashed potatoes and see all the pies my family brought for the get-together, I can't help but think "Is this what heaven looks like?" Though seeing my family was great, eating all the delicious food everyone brought was even better. It's that one time of the year where I can eat like there's no tomorrow and not feel guilty (Trust me, I didn't feel guilty at all). And the best part about it is this: The get-together was at my house, which means I get all the leftovers! It was meant to be.
For a little over a month now, I have been with my best friend, my supporter: my boyfriend. Before I was with him, I was not in a healthy relationship. I did not feel safe. But with the guy I have been with now, it is different. He respects me, always makes me smile, and comforts me. On wednesday on my way home from work, I was very close to getting into a head-on collision because of a person who was texting and driving. The first thing I thought of doing after it happened was to call him. That is how safe he makes me feel. I did end up calling him and he helped me calm down. That is one thing I needed in my life. To feel safe and loved, and that is what he gives me every day.
Since I was a young girl, I was taught to never depend on someone. Well, now I have a boyfriend so it has been a struggle not to say "no" or "Don't worry about it, I can do it myself." I've been trying my best to allow him to help me, but it's all very new to me. Though it'll take a while for me to flip the switch and realize that I don't have to do everything myself, I have made some progress. I let him do things for me without saying no to him because I know he wants to. And for me, that is a huge step from where I once was before I met him.
I have on-days, but I also have off-days. This week, I have had more off-days than usual. I didn't let that stop me from doing something I love doing in particular: laughing. It may seem strange for people to believe, but it has always been a distraction for me. A good distraction. Not only does it put me in a better mood, I'm smiling and staying positive even when I probably shouldn't. School work was stressful, but taking the time to just laugh and think of better things to come allowed me to feel a lot better than I did in the beginning.
With work, school, and people I surround myself with, I've always felt like I had to be the one to satisfy them. I'm the type that people call "the one who cares too much." In my opinion, I don't believe there's such a thing as caring too much. When people would say that, it felt like being the way I am isn't right. This week I was overloaded with stress with trying to make everyone satisfied to the point I broke down. After a few hours passed, I cleared my head and just thought. I thought about how no one is perfect. I can't do everything right even if I wanted to. I learned I don't "have" to satisfy people, but do just enough for them that I don't feel like it's pushing me to the edge.
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